There’s a mixture people call “kin pro.” It involves taking liquid antihistamine and combining it with tramadol capsules (the green-and-yellow ones), opening the capsules and mixing the powder into the antihistamine syrup. Then it’s shaken together and drunk. People say it creates a numb, euphoric feeling — like a kind of high — because it suppresses the senses.

I was addicted to it for a while. I took it every day and had to keep increasing the dose because my body started building tolerance. At one point, I was taking up to 25 pills a day.

Out of fear, I stopped for a week — then eventually went back to it again, starting with smaller amounts like in the beginning.